I WANT EVERYONE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS REALEST SHIT
#OH SNAP IT’S ON #SAMUEL’S ALL COMING IN HERE TRYING TO MAKE BOBBY FEEL LIKE HE’S NOT THEIR ‘REAL’ PARENT #AND BOBBY AIN’T HAVING NONE OF THAT SHIT #UH UH #BITCH I HAVE RAISED THOSE KIDS #AND LOVED THE FUCK OUT OF THOSE LITTLE SHITS #AND YOU COME INTO MY CRIB #AND TRY TO TELL ME I’M PRETENDING TO BE THEIR FATHER #SOMEBODY HOLD MY BEARD #BOBBY SINGER #FUCKING AWESOME
SOMEBODY HOLD MY BEARD
I’ve never used the word “exasperating” in my vocab ever.
Lmaoooo he said “buy me some earplugs too”
He is too grown lmao 😂😂
#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle
this is it.
THIS IS FUCKING IT.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED
THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS
BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.
NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS.
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GODTumblr users should never make infomercialsxcuse yew
This is the kind of world we live in today
If your suggestion as an administrator is to tell a teenage girl to go under the knife instead of telling a teenage boy to respect women, you are in the wrong damn line of work.
That school should be closed.
What a disgrace.
what do birds do
I apologise for my ignorance, birds are important
"I want a youtuber that isnt sexist"
"I want a youtuber that doesn’t make controversial jokes"
- have you considered: Markiplier
"I want a youtuber that is actually funny and genuine and talks to their fans on a regular basis"
"I want a youtuber that-"
Thank You! :D
Let’s take a moment to talk about this. I mean, because first off, “Tell cars not to hit kids.” Well, yeah, we do that all the fucking time, idiot. Ever seen signs like these?
We have classes and signs and laws about it, and people are constantly reminded. So your argument only works if we put up signs everywhere reminding assholes not to rape. But you’d rather talk about how rape victims have it coming to them.
But the dumbest part of this crap? Roads exist for cars to drive on. Children need to be careful to cross the street because they’re entering into an environment that exists specifically for something that is dangerous to them. The only way this shit is a valid comparison is if you think that bars, parties, and the world in general exists specifically for men to have sex with women. And I gotta break it to the guys who support this stupidity- your dicks are not that important. So knock off this bullshit and stop excusing rapists.
In addition, people don’t hit children on purpose. Tragic accidents happen, a driver looks away for a second, a child darts out into the road after a ball. Rape is not an accident. You choose to disregard someone’s “no”, you choose to coerce, or you choose to have sex with someone unable to consent (or rape in any other way). Accidents happen, but rape isn’t one of them.
Also, legally, pedestrians have the right away. Whether or not they are in crosswalks.
well he wasn’t lying about one thing